Secrets Of Me

he's sooo my taste hehe.. Hahhaa.. it was victory for my David Cook!! I'm so happy!! hehe.. yeah he deserved to win. Even though his final night is just ok to me.. but he's a terrific performer! My most favourite songs by David Cook :- Billy Jane!

Ok.. i know people had enough of me talking n comparing Ben with all guys.. but sorry i just can't put him aside easily since he was part of my life before.. it's like natural for me to compare with him cause he has what i want in a guy, and he is so 'embedded' in my brain n my heart. I'll try not too.. i will, in the future cause i dont think he has any place in my heart anymore. He's dead to me. I won't forgive him n wont accept him back if it happens he returned. I had enough of him. Its just full of pain. No more nice girl. Ok.. i guess from now on i'll dropped he's name (at least in my blog haha. :P) By the way, today me n Poh Choo had a small talk with our new staff Kim Jon. We interviewed him about Canada and ask about any opportunities for us to work or study there. I'm surprised that it's quite easy to study or work in Canada (in GIS field) according to Kim Jon. He said, there's a few way we can do - find a job, apply for immigr

I'm addicted to this blog lately.. i know i promissed myself to make this blog as normal as i can, but for the time being i am emotionally unstabled, so i'm trying to put in words what i have in my heart n my mind right now - heartbroken, confused, sorrow, unstable, weak, unsatisfied, unambitious, unsuccessful, i'm not doing what i wanna do, im not doing things that i like, i feel my life now is just for the sake of 'surviving'..... yeah i feel empty n lost, that's the right words. Maybe I am lonely... i always feel lonely since i was small - there's part of me that r not fulfilled, all my life, i learned to ignore what i really want as i wont be able to have things the way i want. I guess i'm already an expert in this. But seriously days after days, im getting bored n bored n i feel like i wanna blow away n ignore what i have to do & choose to do things i long to do. The problem is, i forget what i want....i forget how to do it....I forget myself...

It's the "bad" feeling again.... i shouldn't play the games in the first place cause i never knew that it's actually can becomes so real for me. Yesterday i feel hurt and frustrated for i couldn't get what i want due to typical reason as i always face. It's really fucked up and sucks. I'm pretty sure it's due to my words that he came to his senses which i'm sure that's the main reasons he think it wouldn't work. Well, i know it wont work too but somehow i do feel so frustrated, sad n painful... i dont know why. Reality check, it's always that way... and i really hate or maybe i'm scared of this "like" feeling which i have yet to feel since 2 years ago, cause i don't want to trust anybody yet due to the horrible heart broken i had before. Love, relationship and marriage is a scary thing for me now. The weird thing is, it's so damn easy for me to accept who he was, its so damn easy for me to like him cause he has

American Idol is coming to the end, anyone who can votes, please vote for David Cook!! he deserves to win!! Sexy voice, talented, original, hot hot n sooo cute hahha. Ditch David Archulatte!! he looks too poyo la n he can't sing - boring..

I was having a fantastic time at Perhentian Island last weekend! I longed for that kind of vacation and i’m glad i joned my collegues to the island. It’s a great experienced and ‘romance’... hehhehe. My skin are more dark now but i think its worth it, “huisiow”(Swedish word) la heheh. So, my journey begins on Saturday 10th of may. Since i’m the last minutes kind of girl, i start packing my things at 12 am and went to sleep at 2 am. 2 hours later, i woke up with a terrible pain in both of my legs due to the 10 hours non-stop walking at BB and Petaling street area the day before. Teik Mun and Poh Choo arrived at my house around 5.30 am and Poh Choo mom took us to Subang airport. Not many people in the airport, very silent environment. I had to walk n drag my right foot like a limb and retarded girl. I don’t give a damn cause what ever happens i must reach Perhentian Island! hehee.. We took the 'firefly' plane, small, with big propeller.. it's pretty scary to ride but, the int