Simple Thing Where Have u Gone??

I'm addicted to this blog lately.. i know i promissed myself to make this blog as normal as i can, but for the time being i am emotionally unstabled, so i'm trying to put in words what i have in my heart n my mind right now - heartbroken, confused, sorrow, unstable, weak, unsatisfied, unambitious, unsuccessful, i'm not doing what i wanna do, im not doing things that i like, i feel my life now is just for the sake of 'surviving'..... yeah i feel empty n lost, that's the right words.

Maybe I am lonely... i always feel lonely since i was small - there's part of me that r not fulfilled, all my life, i learned to ignore what i really want as i wont be able to have things the way i want. I guess i'm already an expert in this. But seriously days after days, im getting bored n bored n i feel like i wanna blow away n ignore what i have to do & choose to do things i long to do. The problem is, i forget what i want....i forget how to do it....I forget myself.... I dont know what i should do. I'm getting stupid n stupider, my brain getting weak n weaker, my heart getting hard n harden. Arrgghhh!!!!

Once a person told me, that i knew myself too much, and for that reason i am what i am, that makes me unique, i'm in charge of who i wanna be, but the truth is.... that person is the reason i am ignoring my life now....when will it end????

'Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin'
'And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?'
Somewhere only we know?'