Saturday, November 14, 2015

It is what it is

Staring the horizon
The other side of the world
Breathing the thin air
that smell like roses

The shadows pull me
Through a thousand clocks

Running in circle
Swing through the wind
Smiling, laughing
Seeking and hiding
In the colourful playground
Sarcastically believing
It is what it is

In a second,
Curtain was torn down
Glasses shattered at the sound of a horn
The silent blow of whispers 
Dancing in the air
Like petals with a curse
It is à cruel curse

Running in circle
Holding it tight
Dancing, smiling, laughing
Believing it is what it is

In a thousand  clocks
Petals swing with the sound
Cursing at the fall
Not knowing it is a lovely cursed

Walking on the path
Smelling the lavenders
It is a curse i should have start
Many years ago

The smell of roses
The fallen petals
Shimmers the butterfly
Hurrying to the horizon 
Believing it is what is

Thursday, June 13, 2013

I feel like cursing today
Well, I’ve been doing that almost everyday
Whenever it crosses my mind
How fucked up you guys were

I couldn’t believe
How I spent most of my life
With a bitch or I would rather call babiturat
It’s just disgusting to even speak or hear her name
Not to forget that bastard

I couldn’t believe I wasted most of my life
Believing I have them who will always stand behind me
I couldn’t believe I gave all my trust
To an unknown devil.

There won’t be a single day in my life
I’ll forget all the shits they have given me
Never have I felt this much of hatred,
It will remain forever till the end of the day.

So just fuck off
Your cry won’t be heard
Your sympathy is like shits to me
Your apology just disgusts me
You can just go to hell.

I will never trust anyone
As much as I always did

Friends, bullshits…
What are friends for when they just come and go?
Treat me whenever they want, and ignore me when ever
they have others? WTF?
I don’t have time to play with immature kind of people anymore,
that are ignorance and have no dick to stand by their friends no matter what,
to really treat friends like a friend should be
Not just by caring them when they want something
and gone when they can’t get anything

I'm sick of being nice
It’s better to just enjoying my life
Without any commitment
Sipping coffee with those who
I don’t really care,
And yet are more honest, adventurous,

reliable and trouble free. 

Monday, May 24, 2010

death note

I was standing in the dark
Feeling empty and useless
I stare my life before my eyes
I wasn't sure of my existence

I feel the breeze touches my skin
It was my soul floating helplessly
Separated from my body

I tried to shout
But no one cares not even my own body
I stood still staring the endless lane
Looking into the darkness
Looking for a shine to arise

But i know thats not my true wishes
I never had any wishes
I do not want to wish
I want to vanished
and let the tales end

Sunday, April 04, 2010


FTIMDC 2010 was held yesterday and it's probably gonna be my yearly events since ateh has won the 3rd place last year.

This year she was called to present her collections and was given opportunity to walk on the runway. Such a memorable moment for her and off course for us all. so, should i enter the competition next year? beading the corsets? haha..

Will kinky have her own runway? yes one day i will make it true... :)

Debeads new collection

Thursday, April 01, 2010


Im back in the office feeling so sleepy
I'm lazy to do my things
So i would like to write few things...

Sleep late again last nite
I had a good time, almost won the pool game by myself
Damn Robin is too good.
Rafiee u need more practice! :P

Fussball not as interesting as usual
Robin did thought few hard trick,
so probably we can used it against Malek next time
We need to unite strongly to make Malek cry and beg for us to let him win!

Good backpackers place, i really like it
Thats good enough for our trip in the future.
Lots off bulehhh too :D.

Wonder if we gonna hang out with Robin again tonite at his bar?
Can cuci mata there, probably getting new bulehh?

Oh by the way Malek, fortunately 'they' did not caught us breaking their things last time :)
So, we r free to conquer that place again! Muahaha
Finally :p!!

Tomorrow as usual swimming and hang out with other people plak,
I have no time for my ownself for the past 3 months!!
I need a rest!! i want to just lying down and day dreaming for 1 whole day.

So people, lets plan a one day relaxing trip?
Do suggests date and places.
Lets pampered our self.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

sudden death

I haven't write for so long, i'm so bz with my job. The DoSM project will end this month and my house hopefully will be completed by end of this month too.

However i wasn't about to update my life. I was called to write on this blog after i heard about my neighbor's son sudden death. He was killed in an accident. Probably died instantly. I dont really know the real story yet.

I was so shocked and feel terribly sad for the family although i never speaks with him. What i had in mind was, he' young only 22 or 23, he still studying, he's the first born child, he's the man of the house and his parents really pay alot for his future. He died without warning.

I was like ... OMG what if that happened to me. I died suddenly. The moment u wake up u were in different world... u have so many unfinished business... but u are not able to turn back time. Im just not ready yet...

Life is too short, we have no power upon our faith. Is it worth living if we wont be able to get a better life after death? Its a big questions... where our faith will lead us to in the after life?

All of this is in our hand, but when should i start care about it?

Lately i don't give a damn about what ever happened, i just say to myself 'WTF, we will die anyway. " Is it really that easy? or im being ignorance due to everything that had happened to me?

Living life that way is so easy, then why did i felt so sad with his death?

All the weird things in my mind lately... is seriously weird... should i listen to it?

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Happy 2010!

Happy 2010! i always love this number :P

So as usual lets list out my complete resolution:

1.Camera - Completed hehe got myself new Nikon S600, im quite satisfied with it except the battery heat problem and the poor video capture. Going to send for services and try ask for the new 1.
2. Hand Phone - I want e66 - Completed but not e66 :(
3. Forecast for at least RM5k profits from my online business - hope i can :P - At least half of it, i wish i have more time!
4. Fly to Indonesia and makes business with Indonesian wholesaler - Not Completed
5. Take IELTS - Not Completed
6. Apply for Scholarship/Master degree - Not Completed
7. Expand my business. - Yup just started
8. Buy my own apartment for investment - Not Completed
9. Take my mom and my sis & bro to Redang - Not Completed

Looks like most of my last year resolutions is not completed. Jeez..

Ok My 2010 resolutions
I havent really thought of any great resolutions for 2010. Perhaps try to complete the resolutions i havent completed yet

1. Fly to Indonesia and makes business with Indonesian wholesaler
2. Take IELTS
3. Apply for Scholarship/Master degree Plan to take Master on 2011.
4. Expand my business. Gain more money from internet business or any other online methods
5. Take my mom and my sis & bro to Redang.
6. Going to universal studios Singapore
7. I plan to go to any of this country (depend on my bonus) : China, Korea, Indonesia, Thailand or Australia
8.Open my own boutique

Recaps off a few good and sad memories through 2009:

Good Memories

1. I get rid the kind of human that eat their own friend. Thank GOD!

2. Went to USA for 3 weeks. Its so AWESOME! I missed Hollywood so much
4. Went to Singapore again to attend conference.
5. Find new "port" for my kinky.
6. Yeah again - a Very Big Bonus!!
7. Kinky sales much more than before. :)

Sad Memories

1. My beloved acky died

I learn alot of things last year.

1 interesting thing i learned is, to get a better and happy life is just by getting rid of people who gives u so much problem and burden u in unexpected ways. Life is too short to care for others who dont care about u.

Do not gives all my knowledges to anybody even to the 1 closest to me unless they can give me enough benefits hehe

I'm still hating my job, but happy that now i have lots of new experience with my job. Just cant wait to get off for a better benefits. But i think i would love to get my Master first or simply continue with PHD. :)

Marry? is not in my to do list yet. Nobody is interesting enough around me. 1 thing for sure, i want to marry the guy i love, i do not want to end up living with somebody i hate most or living in unhappy life. What for getting married if all u get is pain?

Above all i would like to enjoy my life to the fullest! I'm looking forward to do so much of travelling! yippie.

Monday, December 21, 2009


My life hasn't been that normal lately. So i got my sweet revenge last weekend after a long busy months i had. It was a terrible life doing DOSM & BGSP project. Our frustration is due to the ignorance we received from our management level. It's been 4 years and nothing has been change to improved certain thing and all the management fuss that yet to fulfilled makes us feel even bored. It makes "us" want to run away, but we cant. We've been bond. So the plan was to see how our management will appreciate us by end of this financial year. If not we just have to do something about it.

So what i did during weekend: Eat what i want to eat, spent my credit card without thinking (luckily i forgot about keyboard or plasma tv or video cam or nokia e66, still have my senses i guess), playing pool and fussball, watched 2 great movies: Storm Riders and Avatar.

There's no other word for Avatar besides AWESOME!! Especially the idea of glow in the dark world. I wish i have that kind of garden in my house too. Can we do that? Like pour some glow in the dark liquids on the plants? Do u think heaven will have that kind of garden? It must be awesome!

Jake Sully attitude in that movie is so i like. His blue face seems cuter then his normal face :P. I love the beautiful hanging garden with waterfall running down, the network ideas in pandora is so cool though looks a bit disgusting when they trying to connect their "network". Not to forget the flying dragon. The movie blended very well with the CGI and real characters as well as the exotic world of pandora looks so real. It seamless. I'm obsessed with Avatar now, so I'm gonna watch Avatar again, this time in 3D, probably at IMAX. :P

Wow we are celebrating New Year next week! Year 2010. Sounds promissing isn’t? Or it's just another boring year that i have to face? Doing things i dont really like? Or should i spend all my money to go for Europe tour before 2011? hehe. Damn it UK is asking for us to pay their VISA for RM1200!! that's so crazy. I wont pay for that. Never mind we'll see what will happen next year. All i know is i want to go for a long vacation again somewhere outside Malaysia.

As for this week, i have to settle all the PAT error in DOSM followed with 3 days wedding on weekend.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

2.30 am in a cold nite

I'm still awake,
In the middle of the night,
Listening to my bro in law snores,
Sing along with Taylor Swift,
and Avik as my companian from far away.

It's 2.30am,
I'm still sitting here on my chair,
Looking at my laptop,
Trying to solve my modeling,
and its not working.

It's a countless night,
I stay awake in the middle of the night,
It's countless free hours im working,
For my fortune next year,
Which i dont assure i can get.

When will this end?
I'm so tired.


Sunday, November 08, 2009

It's all about childish & greediness

Life has been super bz with works. My life is all about my works day and night. 2 projects to be delivered at the same time which is in another 2 weeks. Lots of drama going on. I slept at 1-2 am lately. My body aching all over... i need a massage. Pheewww..

Today was so nice but still damn tiring, cause i went to KL looking for tiles, toiletries and kitchen accessories. Yes, my loan is approved so hopefully everything went fine with my house renovation.

Me n Rafiee went to Petaling street 2 times tonight and almost bump a savvy yer.. nasib baik klu tak bertambah lagi la drama di bulan ini. After he got his LV bag, we went lepak at syed eating satay. Yeah i missed my lepak time. Can't wait for my project to finish. So this is all the updates for now. But this is not really the reasons of today title. Let me tell u about childish and greediness.

Lets start with greediness...

Today i just found out 1 of the reasons why that bitch did what she did. I know i suppose to close this case. But i feel restless if i didnt write about it. Cause the reason is so sickening n unbelievable n i hate people yang tak sedar diri ni.

U wanna know why? Cause that bitch claim it is all because of her ONLY hard works. So she have d right to do what she did (in an "innocent" way cause i bet up till now she thought she's not doing anything bad towards us). She said:

1- She do all the works
2- She was the one who search for customers
3- 90% of the customers deal with her
4- I didnt do any work at all
5- She was the only 1 who promoting us
6- She do most of the COD(as she claimed)

Does everyone know how partnership works? Does all the partner do the same work? yes and no right. In this business, she work as the marketing here cause i know she's good in marketing plus she have lots of time at her office. so clearly that's what her part is.

As for i am, im doing the management, dealing with dealers, money, and i'm doing all the COD at giant Kelana Jaya, answering all the emails, planing lots of things. At the same time, i do my part promoting our website and deal with customers too.

But that's what partnership is about, having to work together as a team. If u want to think what is right and who has the most domination upon this business just by "getting us all the customers", lets list out my part:

1- I was the 1 who took her to our very first supplier.
2- I was the 1 who trigger us to create our blogshop and start the business
3- I was the 1 who provides the CAPITAL to buy from China
4- I was the 1 who have to take loan to get some CAPITAL
5- I was the 1 who knows where to find the China supplier (and later i teach her which i regreted)
6- I was the 1 who deal with China Supplier (and later i teach her which i regreted)
7- I was the 1 who take responsibility transferring money and did all d dealings with China supplier

So, the summary from the lists above,


So, without all this triggering happened, there wont be any Kinky at all!! And off course what she claimed as "all was her hard work and me not doing any work" is useless and no point!!!

Unbelievable i'm living and sharing part of my life for 14 years with a greedy, bimbo and tk sedar diri like this. Why all of us said she's greedy?:

1- She's having this business together with me but she quit and make her own, sell way cheaper then me to steal all the customers.
2- She thought she was the 1 who making us having all the customers and sales thus she suppose to have all the profits, so why would she wants the money from HER CUSTOMERS going into my bank right?.
3- She decided to have her own blogshop once she saw this business is profitable, by cuting our business in not professional way.
4- She dont understand how team works, thus she thought i didnt do any job at all. So it's like im getting all the money because of her.
5- She wants to have the business(money) all by herself only. She don't care about doing it together to make money.

Nah.. i dont need to explain more cause everybody knows how greedy she is.

Anyway, there's always a karma and hikmah behind everything that happen. I'm so glad this happened earlier b4 it's too late. Now i like the opportunity that we had. Hehehe.. i'm loving it and thank God she was out b4 it happens.

About childish..

Yeah this is another shit i have to face this month. Cleaning up someone mess. It's about my team leader. He's our boss most fav engineer. Why? because he's good in talking "big"about his cleverness. But now it was all pecah kedebom terbongkar rahsia.. Who was he all this while???

He just a big fat liar and the biggest childish i ever known. His irresponsibilities has put our project at a stakes, critical condition which we dont know what's going to happen in 2 more weeks.

1 thing i dont understand, this type of people, they dont feel ashame of what they did and they dont feel what they did is wrong.

All this while he was lying about his work, telling our big boss that he finished all his job. But when we checked and tested it.. 80% of his work doesnt work. Can u believe it?? n yet, he still lying about the status even though our boss has found out what happened. OMG.

Everybody dont like his way n nobody bother when he' leaved this company. A few days ago.. he came to our office brought his new boss and talking about making business together. I bet he has feed his new boss with his sweet mouth!

No way me n my colleague going to work with him anymore. He's just a big fat liar. Let's see how long he can live with his attitude in his new office.

I can wait for our trip to Koh Lipe.. i need a holiday badly...