Oh It's really a Shit!
It's the "bad" feeling again.... i shouldn't play the games in the first place cause i never knew that it's actually can becomes so real for me. Yesterday i feel hurt and frustrated for i couldn't get what i want due to typical reason as i always face. It's really fucked up and sucks. I'm pretty sure it's due to my words that he came to his senses which i'm sure that's the main reasons he think it wouldn't work. Well, i know it wont work too but somehow i do feel so frustrated, sad n painful... i dont know why. Reality check, it's always that way... and i really hate or maybe i'm scared of this "like" feeling which i have yet to feel since 2 years ago, cause i don't want to trust anybody yet due to the horrible heart broken i had before. Love, relationship and marriage is a scary thing for me now.
The weird thing is, it's so damn easy for me to accept who he was, its so damn easy for me to like him cause he has the attitude and style n personality that i want n i fond off. I can't say why honestly. He seems lovely n i have the urge to want him more.Which i think its only happened once in a million time. If only i didn't say too much heheh, i can still go with the flow and see what will happens hehhe. It sounds stupid, but that's what i felt n yeah i felt stupid though hahaha. The only guy who can make me feel like that was that bastard Ben. Am i cursed? hahaha.. I never have any luck with any guys that i want besides him. Why is that? Everytime i have new growing relationship, Ben will always disturbed and in the end its seems that only him that can have my love. He always come out of nowhere. Even though now, physically he dont appear in front of me anymore... he still appear in my head. Any guy that can make me forget him, is the guy who win me. But i doubt anyone could. It's bad to say that i feel like im with Ben sometimes when i was with Robbo, when we walk, when we holding hands, when we laugh and teasing each other, when we .... Oh gosh he's so manja n cute. Its really sucks to think of that! uhuks im so frustrated.
Well, i did told him i seriously like him.. and that's just fine to me cause i aready told what i really2 feel and yes i felt relief. Too bad he dont live here....
The weird thing is, it's so damn easy for me to accept who he was, its so damn easy for me to like him cause he has the attitude and style n personality that i want n i fond off. I can't say why honestly. He seems lovely n i have the urge to want him more.Which i think its only happened once in a million time. If only i didn't say too much heheh, i can still go with the flow and see what will happens hehhe. It sounds stupid, but that's what i felt n yeah i felt stupid though hahaha. The only guy who can make me feel like that was that bastard Ben. Am i cursed? hahaha.. I never have any luck with any guys that i want besides him. Why is that? Everytime i have new growing relationship, Ben will always disturbed and in the end its seems that only him that can have my love. He always come out of nowhere. Even though now, physically he dont appear in front of me anymore... he still appear in my head. Any guy that can make me forget him, is the guy who win me. But i doubt anyone could. It's bad to say that i feel like im with Ben sometimes when i was with Robbo, when we walk, when we holding hands, when we laugh and teasing each other, when we .... Oh gosh he's so manja n cute. Its really sucks to think of that! uhuks im so frustrated.
Well, i did told him i seriously like him.. and that's just fine to me cause i aready told what i really2 feel and yes i felt relief. Too bad he dont live here....
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